If you’ve ever been pregnant, you know that there’s a point in every pregnancy where you feel like you’ve been pregnant for 139 months and you’re totally and completely over it. I am at that point.
According to my doctor, I’m 33 weeks and 6 days, but the baby is measuring somewhere between 34-36 weeks. That drives me nuts. Like, I don’t even know precisely when I got pregnant, so how do they know? And what’s with the estimate being so darn specific? I digress.
All I know is that I’m REALLY pregnant, I’m in pain, and I’m definitely not going to make it to my due date. As far as having babies goes, I’ve got it down to a science. I can guess, almost to the day, when I’m going to go into labor — and as far as I can tell, I’m the only woman I know who doesn’t hate the labor process. Maybe I’ve been lucky, or maybe I just hate the last couple months of pregnancy so much, that labor is a welcome change. Either way, I’m at the point where if I were at a restaurant, and had just enjoyed a good meal — I’d be stalking the waiter for my check, so I could get the hell out of there, go home, and take off my pants. You know the feeling.
The waiting is so hard. On one hand, I’m ready to pop this baby out and meet her, but I’m conflicted because I also really want her to fully develop and come out when she’s ready. It sucks, but that’s the selflessness of parenting…thinking about what’s best for your child.
The contractions have been coming regularly for weeks. Five or more an hour…but they’re mild, and they don’t hurt at all. I wish I could say the same for the constant pressure and heaviness in my vagina. I feel like I’m walking around with a bowling ball up there, and it’s waiting to drop at any time.
My poor husband has to been even more tired than me. Between my weird cravings and constant tossing and turning, he can’t catch a break. Through it all, he’s still sweet enough to help me out of the bathtub, and cater to every whim. I’ll need to remember that when I fall in the toilet, because he left the seat up.
I can’t sleep and even water gives me heartburn, but like an excited kid on Christmas Eve, I can’t wait to hold her and meet her for the first time. We’re so close, yet so far away.